Sex without love: how intimacy can affect your sexual experiences

One of the most divisive debates about sex is whether or not it’s worth trying to have it without intimacy. Many people, particularly women, will tell them that sex without intimacy is a no-go for them. It’s simply not pleasurable for them and often makes them feel bad afterward. Others tend to be fine having sex without emotions. So, what’s the deal?

Sex vs. Intimacy: What’s the difference?

People often use the terms sex and intimacy interchangeably. These two terms are not the same. Sex is the physical act of getting it on. If you’re hooking up, it’s sex—even if you are not actually into them. 

Intimacy, on the other hand, is about affection and emotional closeness. This is what breeds love. This is the romance, the affection, the stroking, and the snuggling aspect of sex. Intimacy, in a word, is what makes sex feel emotionally gratifying. 

It’s important to note that you can have both sex and intimacy without commitment.

Can you have sex without intimacy and still have it be good?

Theoretically, everyone can have enjoyable sex without intimacy or sex without love. However, that is not always true. In order for you to have great sex without intimacy, you have to be the type of person who can enjoy that—and you have to be with a lover who’s both attractive and skilled in bed. 

Not everyone can enjoy emotion-free sex. Demisexuals, for example, can only be aroused if they have an emotional connection with their partner. However, you don’t have to be demisexual to be against the concept of “no strings attached sex.”

Why do people avoid intimacy-free sex?

We’ve all heard the complaints of a woman with no emotional connection with her boyfriend, or the wife who complains, “My husband wants sex but no intimacy.” If you’re the type of person to have emotion-free sex, then you might be wondering why so many people eventually refuse this type of sex. Here’s why:

• Sex without intimacy often lacks the connection people need in order to feel satisfied. People don’t want to be used as a vibrator or a masturbation sleeve. At times, intimacy-free sex tends to feel that way, especially if you barely know the person. For some people, that can leave the entire experience feeling cheap.
• In many cases, people only feel desired when they get intimacy. Don’t get things mixed up. There are moments of raw desire that involve no strings attached. That’s how great sex with no emotional connection happens. Unfortunately, not everyone can truly feel desired based on a simple physical connection.
• Many partners also need to talk about sex and fantasies at length so that the kinks and thrills they want can be done safely. Yes, talking about sex beforehand is a form of intimacy. It is part of getting to know the person and feeling safe about sex.
• The cuddles and affection that intimacy offers are a cornerstone of feeling appreciated in a relationship. Sex is important in a relationship, but not as important as intimacy. Lacking intimacy in a relationship can easily lead to infidelity or an eventual buildup of resentment. Even if it’s just a little snuggle after the fact, that small amount of intimacy keeps an emotional and sexual connection alive. 

Can you learn to enjoy sex without love?

Yes, it’s technically possible to learn how to enjoy it—at least in the sense of being able to enjoy the physical sensations. Generally speaking, you probably shouldn’t try to force yourself to like sex with no intimacy if it doesn’t feel right. 

Can you learn how to make love without intercourse?

Traditionally, when people hear “making love,” they assume there’s some penetration. This doesn’t always have to be the case. You can help your partner feel romantically adored without the need for penetration by doing the following things:

• Tell your partner how attractive you find them. Mention specific aspects of them that you fell in love with. 
• Offer long massages and make out sessions. Making love is more about worshipping your partner’s body and giving them sensual affection. If it feels like it belongs in a tawdry novel, then it will work to improve intimacy. 
• Oral sex is a great alternative to intercourse. In many cases, it’s actually more intimate than actual sex.
• Explore kinks and fetish play. If your partner has a thing for kink, then a good way to make love to them without actually getting sex involved would be through indulging in fetishes. This will let them have a connection that involves both sexual play and a more cerebral side to desire.

Having trouble feeling that spark?

Whether you’re just trying your hand at sex without intimacy for the first time or need help getting into the mood for something with more connection doesn’t matter. The truth is, we all need a little help from time to time. That’s where Bido comes in.

Bido’s unique blend of amino acids, fruits, and exotic herbs will help your blood flow, improve your stress levels, and also get your mind in the game. Expect the best lovin’ ever with Bido.