The guide to a safe polyamorous dating life: best apps for polyamory

Monogamy might be the most common way to have a relationship, but it’s not the only way to fall in love. In recent years, polyamory became more common. This is the practice of having a relationship with more than one person. If you have been curious about trying this out, you absolutely should read up on it before you do.

Polyamory can be the perfect way to express your love and make your family yours, but it also comes with far more risk than a typical monogamous relationship does. That’s why it’s best to talk about polyamory and its feasibility for you as well as any partner you are with.

What is polyamory?

Polyamory is an umbrella term for having more than one romantic partner where all parties know about the multiple lover situation. Some polyamorous people prefer to have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation, but most involve a couple that turns into a throuple. 

Non monogamous dating, as it’s also called, means that you have more than one dating partner—or at least, more than one sex partner. In this type of setup, everyone knows about everyone, consent is key, and strict boundaries are set up before anything happens.

Knowing this, it’s easy to see why polyamorous dating apps are a fringe thing. Most people are simply not ready to have that kind of work and risk on the table. You need to have the right mindset for it.

How to find a throuple relationship?

Finding a third for your couple (or a couple for yourself) is tricky, but the mechanics are basically the same as what you'd expect for a monogamous relationship. You just have to peruse dating sites for poly people, meet up with others, and see how you feel about someone.

Before you begin searching poly dating websites, start asking major questions.

Polyamory is a great decision, but it isn’t always feasible for people to do. Some people are not really cut out for it. Before you start hitting apps, make sure that you ask the following:

  • First off, are you going to be able to handle jealousy? Jealousy can destroy a relationship pretty fast and it’s going to be a major issue when you add a third party into your current relationship. Your partners are also going to have to be able to handle seeing you with someone else. How are you going to check this?
  • Are you going to be able to deal with contraception like adults? If the risk of being stealthed or having an emergency pregnancy is not something you can recover from, it’s best to table the idea of being in a poly relationship until you are able to make a change. A baby can easily uproot the most stable of relationships.
  • What rules are you going to put down? This is a biggie. How do you want the relationship dynamic to work? Are there any hard boundaries that you need to discuss. 
  • How are you going to deal with your families? Are they going to know, and if not, how are you going to hide your partners? How would your partners feel about this? 
  • Are you going to live with your third partner? Lodging and other major life choices are going to have to be discussed. It’s important to note that certain areas don’t allow cohabitation of non-family members. 
  • Are you going to be able to keep the spark alive with both partners? This is where supplements like Bido can help, but it’s still up to you.

    Once you’ve gotten plans hammered out, you can usually work with an app.

    What are the best apps for poly relationships?

    There are two main schools of thought on this: using monogamous apps, or using apps made for polyamory, swinging, and other alternative relationship forms. Most people will look up ethical non monogamy apps as their go-to but may find that polyamory apps are a bit difficult. 

    Of course, you don’t need a polyamorous dating site to find a person (or couple) to romance. Many people believe the best dating apps for non monogamy are also the same ones for monogamous individuals. After all, there’s a bigger selection.

    What are the best apps for open relationships?

    We’re going to cover both “classic monogamous” types of apps as well as classic poly dating apps.


    Though there are definite stigmas to these apps (especially after they donated to the GOP), the truth is that most poly couples are able to have some kind of success with the “old-fashioned” route of using apps made for monogamous people. 

    Most monogamous people can’t stand seeing poly people on these apps, so expect some eye-rolls. The reason it works is that it’s a numbers game. These apps simply have the most people, and that makes them beat a typical throuple dating site by default.


    This is probably the biggest app for people who are looking for alternative relationship styles, unicorns, and swap partners. This massive app has a look and feel similar to Tinder, but with more options to be direct about what they want.

    Unlike Tinder, Feeld has the perk of having a poly community. This leads to a more open and accepting vibe, not to mention a more mature option, too. 


    One of the very few dating apps specifically for nonmonogamy of the romantic type. On this app, couples can link profiles (much like in Feeld) and also find someone for a long-term relationship. 

    Feeld and #Open are both excellent picks for people who want to avoid misunderstandings and also avoid people who are new to poly relationships. Since many people find people who have been poly for a while to be better partners, this is a good perk.


    As the name suggests, MoreThanOne is a dating app that is meant to find your poly clique—making it very similar to #Open. This app is pretty popular among people who are looking to take things slowly but who are still open for fun. 

    What people love about MoreThanOne is the fact that it’s welcome for almost all people. You can find friends and lovers without having to put a label on anything—including your gender or sexuality.


    BiCupid is the OKCupid for people who are specifically looking for a polyamorous relationship. (Well, that’s the best way to describe it.) While the official tag is that it’s the world’s largest website for bisexual people, many people tend to find this to be a great pick for polyfans too. 

    To say that it’s open to polyamory is an understatement. The site itself actively has a special section for people who are in a couple looking for a third, not to mention people seeking out their first bisexual experience. 


    So, the Polyfinda app is one of the most popular throuple dating sites on the market—to the point that it’s pretty famous for its community. There is an app portion that’s similar to most other online dating apps, but what really sets Polyfinda apart is the fact that you don’t need the app to participate. 

    Polyfinda remains one of the best dating sites for poly people because they also work hard at making in-person events. So, even if you are not into the person you meet, you still may be able to join a larger community.

    Play the field, but get a boost.

    Whether you are trying your hand at swinging or going all-in on polyamory, you’re going to need to focus on your sexual health. Having a laggy libido can squash the chances of you being able to keep your relationships intact. 

    Bido’s unique blend of vitamins, nutrients, and botanicals makes it possible to get the energy boost you need and also enjoy a better sense of wellbeing while you get your groove on. Having a little Bido boost can make date night more enjoyable on a whole new level.